Oprah joined Twitter (which she doesn’t even use anymore), and because of this a million soccer moms signed up, all of whom now think they are “totally web 2.0” because they get tweets from Oprah (non-existant), CNN breaking news, and Whole Foods. 

Rick Sanchez of CNN “utilizes” Twitter, which just means that during his show he reads two tweets: one that says Obama is totally right, and one that says Obama is totally wrong, and because of this, he thinks that we are “having a true two-way communication” and that he is now “Mr. New Media.” 

On Tumblr you don’t get randomly followed by HotttMama69, SocialMediaConsultant, or PRLIFECOACH.

Tumblr users don’t engage in debates about what the best client to use is, whereas Twitterers constantly debate the relative merits of Tweetdeck, Tweetie, Twitterfon, Twitteriffic, SimplyTweet, Twittelator, Twitterena, and TwitterWorld — arguing which Twitter client best meets their Tweeting needs. 

Tumblr doesn’t have all of the ridiculous memes of Twitter, which now include such brilliance as: #MeowMonday (your cat meowing in 140 characters or less?), #followTuesday (because one day of following on Friday clearly was not enough), #WoofWednesday (lest the dogs be left out of this social media revolution), and of course, #3WordsAfterSex (hot).

No followers arms-race (both the Ashton “pleeeeease help me get to 1 million” variety, as well as the “I’m super important ‘cause almost 100 people read my tweets about buying laundry detergent” kind). 

What have I left out?